To build or not to build

 I overheard a couple of freshman parents talking about their sons’ schedules.  They were trying to make sure that their kids were taking the most rigorous classes possible.  They also wanted to make sure that their sons were involved in as many clubs as our school had to offer.  After all, that’s the way to get into the most competitive colleges, one father said. 

My first thought was, wow, these kids are not really going to enjoy the next four years at our school or the four years after that in college, as they are getting pushed to build a resume that I don’t think even impresses admissions directors or employers 

Freshmen, how about instead of packing the schedule so that you have no room to breathe, you take the lightest schedule possible?  This allows you to use the extra time in your first year to explore both the classes and the clubs that interest you.  Once you find what interests you, it’s easier to build your schedule around it

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Focus your energies on the activities and classes that spark your interest.  There might only be one activity that interests you, and that’s okay.  Colleges and employers are looking for people who pursue interesting things.  If you think you would make a great guest on a radio or TV talk show, you are on the right path. 

Use your time in both high school and college to explore and cultivate your interest, not to build your resume.  It will lead to a more enjoyable and beneficial educational experience. 

New Start

 

As we were driving our son to college to begin his first year, he was nervous yet excited.  The thrill of starting a new journey often coincides with wondering if you will fit in.  Whether it’s a new job, new school, or a new class, you wonder, “Do I belong here?”

Greg Walton, a Stanford psychologist, has done a lot of research on belonging.  The first thing to realize is that many people share the same feelings.  The only difference is that they might be good at hiding how they feel, so it seems like they are adjusting faster than you are. Don’t compare yourself with others only with yourself: Are you doing better today than yesterday?

The feeling of not belonging will go away after a time.  Psychologists estimate that it takes 50 hours to develop a friendship.  Turning that friend into a good friend might take 200-300 hours. So be patient, give yourself some time.

And realize that we all grow at different rates.  New students, have confidence that the admissions director accepted you into the school.  They have years of experience, and they know you can handle the workload.  The same approach can be applied to a new job.  Recognize that the people hiring you know what they are doing and feel confident you can do the job.

Take a minute and ask more-seasoned veterans how they felt when they first started.  Many seniors will remember wondering if they belonged, and things worked out fine for them.  Use these veterans as role models demonstrating that even though they had self-doubts at the start, they are now excelling.

Finally, the last challenge is for us veterans.  It is important to reach out and help newcomers feel like they belong.  I know that the times I started a new job, the people who reached out made a world of difference.

Tribute to my seniors

 

A group of us started this academic year virtually last summer.  At the time, there was the possibility we would be virtual for the year, 25% hybrid, or 50% hybrid.  As we navigated through the year, the uncertainty stayed with us even as we went from 25%-50% and eventually where some of you are going full time.

While hybrid learning was something we all had to adjust to, you were very flexible as I made some mistakes with technology and at times when technology failed us.  I am thankful that you did not complain but tried to make the best of the situation.

Many of you came to reviews before school or at night.  Others would meet with me during their off periods as we all tried to master the material.  Especially in these trying times, your effort was truly appreciated.

During the year, we worked on vulnerability, which led us to keep track of Bressler’s blunders.  While I led the class in mistakes, it was great to see many of you ask questions to improve your knowledge of the material.  It was also great to see students explain difficult concepts to other students who either did not understand my explanation or could not relate to my examples.

I also appreciated your honesty with our daily feedback.  I logged all your suggestions and have a list of changes I will make next year.  I truly think that the feedback I get from students is the best professional development.  If there are parts of the class you have enjoyed, it probably came about from a student’s suggestion.

As you move on to college, I have a couple of tips.  Sit in the first three rows of the class.  Ask questions and do not worry about what other think—your job is to understand the material.  Lastly, make sure to make use of professors’ office hours.  All of these will help make the learning experience easier for you.

Thank you for all you have done this year.  The conditions were not ideal, but I truly enjoyed working with you.  If I can be of any help to you in the future, do not hesitate to call.

With tremendous gratitude and admiration

Mr. Bressler

Never give up

 It was one of those days where I was wondering, “What am I doing?” It didn’t seem like any of my students were learning, and my frustration with myself was building.   

During a break, I mentioned this struggle to a fellow teacher who said, “You can only teach those who want to learn.”  But I have always felt that it is my job to make sure everyone is learning. 

While I was driving home, the thought about quitting teaching crept back into my head.  My frustration level was high, so I decided to listen to some music the rest of the ride home.  After dinner, I went upstairs to start getting ready for the next day’s lesson when I received this email: 

I hope all is well. The reason for my email is that I wanted to acknowledge my lack of effort during seminars. You are one [of] if not the best teacher I have had at Calvert Hall since we went virtual. This is because you make sure we are always involved and are great at walking us through the material. I apologize for not respecting the course, as I should have.           

     

Anyway, the reason my focus does not seem to be on your class is due to my past success in cram studying the night before an exam. This clearly does not work for your class is because it is cumulative. I have learned this the hard way and realize I have been more focused on my letter grade than actually learning. I appreciate your patience and understand that a conversation regarding this is much overdue. 

 

This email helped me bounce back from my doldrums.  We all fall at times, but what is important is that we bounce back.  It made me realize that as a teacher, parent, or friend, we can never give up on anyone. 

When I am about to quit something, I pull up this email to remind myself to push forward.  As a community, if we do not give up on each other, if we support each other, we will grow with each other. 

If there is someone or something you have given up on, think about it and try it. 

Generosity

 This past weekend, I visited a friend at his summerhouse to play a round of golf.  Neither of us are very good golfers, but we enjoy the game.  As we played, the conversation turned to generosity. 

“I never in my life expected to have the financial success that I have had,” my friend said to me.  “Sometimes I feel guilty.”  I was surprised to hear him say this, because he uses his business to give people a second chance.  My friend hires many people who have had drug and alcohol problems.  He is the first to admit that not all of them work out, but enough do that it has made a tremendous difference in both their lives and his own.

 

As we played our round, he told me that if any of his employees has a favorite charity, he will sponsor it.  He wants to set an example for his people to be charitable and believes that showing support for their favorite causes is a great way to do that. 

My friend is trying to step away from his business, and one of the requirements in the sale is the pledge that the company will donate a certain amount of its profits to charity.  While the company will eventually be under new management, he wants to ensure that the legacy of the company includes investing its profits in charitable ways. 

As the round ended, I was truly inspired by my friend's generosity.  As we were walking off the course he said, “Not everyone has the money to give to charity.  Most of us, however, have time that we can give to help others.” 

My friend models kindness every day (more about kindness).  It shows in how generous and caring he is as a person. 

The challenge my friend makes to everyone: “What are you going to do today to make a difference in others’ lives?”