self-regulation

As research continues to come out it seems more and more apparent that self-regulation is an important ingredient to academic success.  Now I think if you asked most students they would agree that self-control is an important ingredient however they might not know any strategies to improve in this important characteristic.  So here are some strategies that you might use to improve your own self-regulation (more strategies).

When I was a basketball coach one of my responsibilities was to make sure that our players were both academically and athletically successful.  On the academic side we made all our players sit in the front of the class and on the front half of the seat.  The fact that you are sitting in front of the class forces you to pay more attention and it is much harder to fall asleep or check your phone. Sitting on the front half of your seat helped students stay more alert in class.

Secondly, one of the things that I found from KIPP schools to help students focus better in class was tracking the speaker.  If you force yourself to look at everyone who speaks in class, it makes it a little easier to then engage in the conversation.

Thirdly, when at home doing school work, put your electronics in another room.  In a study they put cookies in a glass jar in which secretaries could see the cookies.  Another group of secretaries had a jar full of cookies that they could not see through the jar.  The secretaries who could see the cookies ate almost twice as many cookies as those who could not see them.  Do not tempt yourself put your electronics in another room powered off while you are working.  You will find that you save a lot of time and truly comprehend the material better.

Last but maybe most importantly get a good night’s sleep.  It is extremely hard to focus if you are tired and fighting to keep awake.  Figure out your time management so that you can go to bed approximately the same time each night and get 7-9 hours of sleep.

My challenge to you is to pick one of these strategies, work them for a month and see if you performance improves.

proposing a new idea

“I remember I was about to go into the President of our company’s office to pitch an idea that everyone told me he was opposed to. I had the data to show that my idea was correct, but I knew this meeting was not going to be about data. I started the meeting with, “Tom, here are the three biggest reasons why I think my idea will not work”.  When I started to explain the third obstacle in our way he interrupted me to explain how he thought we could overcome obstacle number two. 

Psychologist would explain that starting with your obstacles disarms the audience.  That when people come in with tremendous confidence and talk about how great the idea is that the listener naturally starts to think about ways to poke holes in it.  That the listener feels like you are trying to sell them something and that makes them suspicious. 

The second advantage that psychologist would point out is that it makes you look smart.  That you are not so overconfident in your ideas that you could not see the pitfalls.  It proves to the person you are trying to persuade that you took the time to examine the obstacles that must be overcome to make the idea successful. 

Thirdly,  It shows that you are trustworthy, knowledgeable and honest.  Now this could backfire on you if you present an obstacle that your audience was not thinking about, but the truth is that most of the times when hearing a new idea your audience is going to be very skeptical anyhow. 

The fourth advantage of starting with your obstacles is that it makes it harder for the audience to think of more problems.  You have already given three or four of the major problems and therefore it is very hard to tack on more to your list. 

As I finished my presentation with the President he said, “We have overcome bigger obstacles than this.  Go ahead with the idea I think it will work.” 

So, the next time you have to present a new or controversial idea think about starting with the obstacles first.

social clock

Social clock establishes the culturally preferred timing of important transitions in life, like going to college, picking your major, finding your first job, getting married and starting a family. During the past month I have had conversations with many of my former students who are struggling with meeting these cultural timelines.

 My advice to them is to break the clock, stop worrying about these made up timelines and cultivate your passion.  That most people at 22 do not know who they are going to marry, nor do they know what they are going to spend the rest of their life doing.  So instead of worrying I advise them to cultivate their passion.

Why do I pick the word cultivate instead of finding your passion?  To me when someone states you should find your passion it almost makes it seem like it is there if you could just locate it and that there is only one passion for you.  I rather use the word cultivate since that means to promote the growth of your passion.

How do you cultivate your passion?  Listen to what other people appreciate about you.  Ask the people you trust what makes you different than other people?  What are some characteristics that people identify as you.  Reflect upon what causes you care about and the difference you want to make in the world.

When you have done some of this reflection jump into action.  If you are in school take some classes to see if they help increase your passion.  At one point I wanted to be a college basketball coach, so I volunteered to coach at a University.  Realize when you first dip you toe into the water that you are going to struggle at first, you are new at it so be ready to make mistakes.  If you however enjoy spending your time thinking about how to improve and looking forward to the challenges of the next day you are probably on the right path.

As those of you who know me realize I am not a basketball coach.  So, I had to try many things out before I realized that education was my calling.

Be patient with yourself, life is sometimes messy, and the path is not always clear.  It is worth the wait however, since when you are working on something that you are passionate you have tremendous intrinsic motivation.

  I have ended many of these conversations with students by telling them, “I do not know what you are going to do but I do know that you are going to make the world a better place”. That is all we can ask.

College acceptance

I was on the airplane coming home from visiting my father when the person next to me asked if I taught at Johns Hopkins.  I explained that the jacket was a gift from a student of mine who was accepted to Hopkins.  She then told me that her son was applying to Hopkins and if he did not get accepted how totally unfair it would be. She told me how many extra curricular activities her son participated in, how great his SAT scores were, that his GPA was awesome.   She ended her rant with what more do they want from these kids and what happens if he ends up at Towson? 

My first words were don't panic.  I know many students who did not go to their first or second choice of schools and had a great college career.  The truth is that your number one choice is not based on a lot of information, maybe a quick visit, and the reputation of the school. You probably gather more information on a person who you date for the first time.  I have believed for a long time that the STUDENT is more important than the school.  All schools allow you the opportunity to learn, cultivate your passion and be successful.

Secondly, I expressed that this might be the first time in her son's academic career that he was rejected.  While nobody likes rejection, it is good that it happens while he is still at home getting support from both his parents.  Students often see rejection letters as signs of failures where the truth is that just being in the hunt is quite an honor.  A school like Hopkins probably gets over 20,000 applicants most of them top students like her son.

My next point was about Towson.  I know one of the brightest students I have ever taught went to Towson.  She was set to go to NYU when her funding disappeared, and she had to go to Towson.  She was angry about it and went to Towson with a horrible attitude.  After two months she loved the school, felt very challenged academically and has finished her PHD in psychology.  My point being that you can find your way at all schools. 

We then discussed if the purpose of going to college was to learn, grow, and cultivate your passion then you could probably accomplish that at many different colleges.  The truth being that if he does not go to a high-priced school he might truly have the flexibility to follow his dreams without the worries of paying back student loans.

My last thought was to tell her son to cultivate his passion instead of building his resume during his college years.  This would allow him to find a job he loves and can excel in.

I ended my rant asking her to pushback on any or all of these comments.  I invite you to do the same.  Want to see what famous psychologist thinks about college admissions read (here).