Changing

 I remember watching my son play video games.  I’d wonder what attracted him to them, what made him so engrossed.  As I learned more about the games, I realized that they offered him constant feedback, a degree of difficulty yet not something that overwhelmed him, and closure when he successfully completed the game. 

Psychologists would explain that people like closure.  That these games provide closure for the people who play them and therefore fulfill a psychological need. 

The problem, however, is that when we are trying to create change in our schools, businesses, or lives it is hard to find this quick endgame.  When it comes to change, there is no “one and done.  Too often, companies, schools, or people bring in expert speakers, provide one day of training, or hire someone, and then think the problem is solved. 

When we congratulate ourselves for starting the process and think we are done, like in a game, we often lose the people who were behind the change.  What we need to learn from a gamer like my son is that the game is not often won on the first move.  It requires taking feedback, learning from our mistakes, and being persistent in our quest to get to the next level. 

The next time you are trying to bring about change, remember: It is a slow process—and I say that written from as a very impatient man!—with many ups and down along the road.  There is no one thing that will instantly provide that change but 1,000 little things that will make it happen. 

confusion

 A few years ago, I sat in on a class taught by a master math teacher.  As the lesson unfolded, I started to become confused. I thought that was normal because I had not taken this math in years.  However, as I looked around the classroom, I could see a look of confusion on many of the students’ faces. 

Confusion may sometimes feel uncomfortable, but it, is important for learning.  A study by Sidney D’Mello found that when we are confused, we stop and think.  Working our way through the puzzle causes us to consider different solutions and deliberate —something we don’t have to do when problems are easy.  Once we clear up our confusion, we’ve learned the material in a deeper way. 

The teacher gave the students some time to figure out the problem.  As I continued to watch, I saw the confusion disappear, replaced by determination.  Before long, some of the students had solved the problem and were working with other students to help them understand it. 

At the end of the lesson, I talked with the teacher.  He told me, “At the start of the year, most of the students just gave up.  Now, however, they realize that if they stay engaged and figure out the problem, the learning will stick with them.” He purposely gave them just enough information to cause confusion. 

The challenge for you: The next time you are confused, be persistent.  Think about how your body feels after a hard workout.  Your brain is also a muscle, and for it to get stronger, you must sometimes feel a little discomfort.  That discomfort will lead to longer-lasting learning. 

college choice

 This is the time of year when students get their acceptance letters from colleges.  While any type of rejection stings, the fact that your dream school does not want you is hard to digest.  My first words of advice are: Do not panic.  Throughout my years as a teacher, I know many students who have not been accepted by their dream school.  I have long been a believer that the STUDENT is more important than the school. 

All schools allow you the opportunity to learn and to cultivate your passion.  Students who go to college and push themselves to get out of their comfort zone have a tremendous experience no matter which college they attend.   

You should examine the purpose of college.  If it is to cultivate your passion, push yourself outside your comfort zone, and learn, then all colleges provide these opportunities.  You should attend college for these reasons instead of worrying about building a resumé.  This way, you can find a profession that you truly love. 

Over the course of my career, I have seen students go to the so-called best schools and not have a great experience.  Other students who were rejected from these schools went on to have an extraordinary experience at what might not have been their dream school.  Again, it comes down to what you want to get out of your college experience. 

Many former students who have gone on to college read this blog.  Feel free to share your comments below. 

Is it natural talent

 

When my son was walking off the stage as his band finished a set, a fan said to him, “You are great! You have so much natural talent.”

He told me that story later and it  made me laugh, because my son has practiced up to six hours a day for the past 10 years.

My son then talk about how he now believes that you can be good at anything if you are willing to practice. His own growth in music has allowed him to develop a growth mindset. A growth mindset, as defined by psychologist Carol Dweck, is the belief that your intelligence and talents can change—they aren’t fixed.

No one has a growth mindset in everything. I think of a growth mindset as two voices in my head. One of them takes failure personally, while the other explains to me that I can learn from this failure. The challenge is to allow the second voice to win.

I then asked my son what happens when he plays a bad set or something below his standard. He said that it would be a springboard to help him get better. That he would know what he needed to practice, and that is what he would be doing for the next week. I have witnessed (heard) him practice one line in a song for hours until he felt he had it correct.

The challenge for all of us is to look at failure as an opportunity for growth. When we get something wrong, we should smile, because we are going to learn from the mistake.