How do I get off the treadmill

 

Every once in a while, someone says something that takes you back in time. We recently had a guest speaker whose message triggered a memory of a former student and a conversation we had many years ago. She had just been accepted into her dream school, an Ivy League university, when she asked if she could talk to me after class. When she came back that afternoon, she told me something I wasn't expecting she had hated school for as long as she could remember. Her parents had always told her that good grades would get her into a great college, and that a great college would lead to success. So, she worked incredibly hard, sacrificing years of her life to reach that goal.

She described how tears of joy rolled down her cheeks when she received her acceptance letter. All that hard work had finally paid off! But the next morning, the excitement was gone. She suddenly realized that college was going to be more of the same. She would need good grades to get into graduate school or land a high-paying job. The finish line had simply moved. As she sat across from me, I could see the sadness in her eyes when she asked, "How do you get off the treadmill?"

I paused because this certainly wasn't the conversation I expected to have. My response was that she needed to change her mind set about college. Instead of viewing it as another steppingstone to the next achievement, she should use it as an opportunity to discover what she genuinely enjoyed. Take courses that spark your curiosity. Explore subjects that interest you. Cultivate a passion or discover that something isn't for you. That's what education should be about. College should be a place to explore possibilities and discover who you are, not simply another four years of chasing grades and credentials.

We also talked about the difference between working hard because you enjoy what you do and working hard because you are chasing some future reward. There are plenty of successful people who work incredibly hard, but they find meaning and satisfaction in their work.  We have become so obsessed with preparing for tomorrow that we have forgotten to help them enjoy today.

Over the years, this former student returned to visit, and I noticed a remarkable change. Her body language was different. She was more relaxed, smiled more often, and seemed to genuinely enjoy life. I don't know that one conversation changed everything, but I do believe she began to understand that life wasn't about constantly reaching for the next rung on the ladder. It was about finding something meaningful along the way. There is nothing wrong with ambition, good grades, prestigious universities, or financial success. But none of those things guarantee happiness. We need to do a better job of helping students discover what makes them curious, what excites them, and what gives their lives meaning.

The challenge should be to figure out why you're on the treadmill in the first place. Find something, you are passionate about, something that makes you want to get up in the morning, something that gives your work meaning. When you find that, you may discover that you don't need to figure out how to get off the treadmill. You aren't on it anymore.