Sunday, September 22, 2019

worry


I remember that I was waking up during the summer feeling kind of anxious and worrying about things.  I found this kind of odd since the summer for a teacher is one generally of relaxation. When I started to walk around, I felt the tension in my body, mostly my shoulders.

So even though I did not feel that I had more to worry about than usual in my life I could feel it in my body.  I have heard many people, including my wife, tell me that you should not worry about things that you can not control but that still did not help me.


I started one morning writing down all the things that I was worried about.  The list contained the usual worries you might have about your kids, family, health, and job.  I then put the list of worries on my calendar dated two months from the date I wrote them.

I totally forgot that I even wrote the list until it turned up on my calendar sixty days later.  As I was going through the list most of the things that I worried about never came to fruition.  I realized that I was wasting a lot of energy on things that never happened instead of putting my energy into things that I could change.


Now I realize the answer is not to worry at all however as an economics teacher I must state that worrying about things you can not control is not a good return on your investment.  Also, when I realized that most of the things that I worry about never happen I could feel the tension leave my body which is truly one of the greatest feelings.


My advice if you find yourself worrying too much is make a list of your worries and then check back on them.  Hopefully you will find the same results as I did.

24 comments:

  1. Thanks for the tip. I've been having some problems with worrying, especially considering I have two tests and a paper due in two days. I'm definitely going to try this.

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    1. Remember short term stress is good for you. It is just your body and brain getting ready for the big event

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  2. I’ve found this to be true because often I find myself worrying about things that just shouldn’t be an issue. I do like the idea about listing things and checking back on them though because it really puts your worries into perspective.

    George

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    1. I know that seniors worry about college a lot and in the end for 98% it works out.

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  3. Thank you Mr. Bressler, I have recently noticed going into my senior year how much I worry about things going on in my life. Most of the time I worry about things that are out of my control like you mentioned in the post. For example, which college will accept me, or what I will do in the future, or what happens if I did this..., most of the time I have no control over these things but yet I still worry. I will try out your method by writing these things down and coming back and looking at them. Thank you for your help!

    -Gianni Vito

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    1. focus on what you have control over which is your performance in school, the college stuff will take care of itself. Do not worry about the future keep taking classes that interest you and you will continue to cultivate your passion

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  4. I have always been a guy who has extreme cases of anxiety and someone who worries about most things in life. Thank you for the suggestion. I've never tried this strategy before but am 100% willing to give it a try.

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  5. This blog reminds me of how I felt coming into Calvert Hall. I didn't get into the classes I wanted and I worried that I was on the wrong path already, but my dad sent me a ted talk by a man named Tim Ferriss called "Why you should define fear", and he talked about the exact same thing with his fears and how he writes them down, but he also added on another column the worst possible outcome. So I did this with my life and of the 42 different entries I wrote down freshmen year on this fear journal not a single one of them had the worst possible outcome or anything near it. I've learned that worrying about the uncontrollable is meaningless, so I focus on fixing the controllable instead.

    -Christopher White

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  6. thanks that is a great post and video to watch

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  7. Thank you for writing this. As it is my senior year I am starting to worry about my future choices and if I will make the right decisions like what to major in and what college to attend. I will try your strategy and hopefully it will help me also.
    -Basilio

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  8. Often, when traveling to a new place or experiencing new things, I find myself waking up in the middle of the night asking myself, “How will I handle the challenges of today? What if I fail today? What if today is too much for me?” It’s almost as if this worrying comes second nature, as a coping mechanism for trying to predict the unknowns of the coming day. I have to get my head around it somehow, right? The only problem is that by immediately beginning to frame my day in the context of the negative, I am going to get exactly what I expected - a day full of negatives. But waking up this morning at the Peer Education retreat and reading this blog made me think in a different way: why not think of the positives? Sure, I have more homework from every class from missing a day of school, and sure I have a Capstone due date approaching with multiple tests. But none of these things will change. Only I can, and that’s what I intend to do.
    -Casimir Pozecki

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  9. I've struggled with the same thing. I often find myself worrying about things that I have absolutely no control over like my family and friends. I feel constantly anxious concerning their overall well-being and I feel that it take a great toll on my health as well. I find odd that I worry more about things that I can't control rather than ones I can. I will try your strategy and see if it helps me too. Thank you.
    -Finn Gaudreau

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  10. This post seems especially relevant to me as I am heading into my senior year of high school around college application season along with an intense course workload. The way that worrying and stress can weigh someone down is scary, especially if they do not have control over it. Like you mentioned in this post, it has the ability to physically affect your body's condition, which makes it especially important to try and find ways to cope with it. Putting my worries on a list and setting them aside for a while seems like a good method to find some sort of relief from what seems like an unending pile of stress. However, I was also wondering how to cope with long term worries that may persist through this temporary relief? Thank you Mr. Bressler.
    -Forbes Lau

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  11. I can relate to this, because I also worry about a lot of things. I try to keep my worries on the inside and remain confident on the outside, so my worries don't rub off on others. But most of my worries either don't come to fruition, or are way less impactful than I had expected. I used to worry about rollercoasters until I finally got on one, and realized I was worrying for no reason, and was missing out on fun my entire life until then. My goal is to do the things that make me worry, so I can be more confident, and leave my comfort zone. - Travis Johnson

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  12. This message hits home for me 100%. I get very stressed about everything. Literally everything. When I am out of school for a day or when the homework piles up, I feel trapped. My mom always tells me just to do my best because I can’t change the situation, but sometimes I feel like I’m not doing enough. I want to be able to control everything, which hurts me. For example, I want to do very well on an assignment. Because of this, I study a lot to master the content. I get all worried about the assignment, but after I finish it, I hardly remember the stress. However, this cycle tends to occur repeatedly for me. I think I am going to try what you suggested.
    - Chip

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  13. This is a very good message that a lot of people should think about. Stress overwhelms a lot of our lives and it is important not to let it take control. As a student, I find myself in a lot of stressful situations with homework, extracurricular activities, and college applications. I appreciate the tip!

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  14. Wow. This message can be applied to every person on this planet. I know for sure I have this problem as well and it definitely can drag myself behind on the focuses i should be focusing on, not the worries. This is a problem that can be solved through self reflection and to focus more on the success of the present than the worries that the future holds. I always try to focus on the positives more than the negatives because it makes life so much more enjoyable. I work hard at every task I face and just need to not worry. This is a great message that needs to be stressed out to everyone.
    -Alick Dalrymple

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  15. There appears to be a common theme of worry about things that are out of your control that I am apart of. Whether it is because of injuries, high school grades, or future college plans, I find myself worrying that I could have done more to accomplish my goals. When I am in slumps of worry, I even find it difficult to list 3 good things that have happened in my day, which is eye opening because my people would kill to be in our shoes. Although this is not easy, the least stressful way to go about achieving your goals is to put 100% effort in everyday and have faith that the results you desire will eventually come instead of worrying about the future. Hopefully when I become an adult and look back at my days in high school, I am able to remember the accomplishments and good times I've had rather than the failures and setbacks that brought me pain.
    -Jake Bleacher

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  16. I feel like I can relate to this a lot. I often feel worried about things that I have no way of controlling. I tried listing out my worries to address them and realized that a lot of them are worries about things I did in the past. Writing out those worries about mistakes I made or things I should of done differently led me to realize how unimportant these worries were and how they were a waste of time to worry about.
    - Alex Rothenheber

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  17. I think this is a great message, especially for students. Being a highschool student in rigorous courses can really take a toll on the mind, so it is important to find ways to deal with anxiety and stress. One way I like to deal with my anxiety and stress is spending the weekends with friends and having memories to get me through the weekend and memories to look forward to during the week. I can even do work with my friends if I have to. I will definitely try your suggestions of writing down my worries. - Owen Pusinsky

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