text or call

A student of mine asked me how we would have handled the quarantine when I was a kid. I told him that the way we would have communicated with friends was by phone. He gave me this weird look and then told me that nobody uses phones anymore. That most people just text each other. 

It made me wonder was there any advantages to texting? I then stumbled across a study that showed that if you wanted to stay close to someone or needed companionship that hearing a voice is better than receiving a text.

 

Participants were randomly assigned to connect with an old friend via phone or email. Though most people anticipated that talking by phone would be more awkward for them, those who spoke on the phone were much happier than those who exchanged emails. They left the conversations feeling much closer to the person than those who emailed their friends. 

As the winter months come up, you might find yourself more isolated. Even though it might seem old fashion pick up the phone and call a friend. 

At the end of the conversation you will feel much better. 

gratitude in a pandemic

One of our guidance counselors stopped me in the hall the other day to express concern for how many of our students were anxious and stressed out.  This did not surprise me, as we are living through a pandemic and dealing with tough social justice issues in a politically divided country. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                               The question is, what tools can we provide our students to work through these issues? 

My first thought was gratitude (more here).  Gratitude is a great way to improve mental health and can be practiced by most students.  On a personal level, I write down three good things each morning that happened to me the day before.  It is my way of starting the day off on a positive note, and it allows me to refocus on the good things that have happened to me. 

Recent research has shown that writing a gratitude letter and reading it to that person may be even more powerful.  Now, expressing gratitude to others can sometimes be awkward, especially for high school students.  You therefore should express it in the way that is easiest for you.  This might mean texting, calling, or sending an email. 

With all that is going on in this crazy world of ours, let us not wait until we are totally stressed out to try to change.  The challenge for all of us (my goal is two a day) is to show our gratitude to each other every day.  

embrace the struggle

 

I recently celebrated my first birthday since my Dad died.  This of course triggered memories of lessons he would share with me over the course of my lifetime.  Like most kids, I was very impatient with my progress, especially in basketball  

Instead of feeling sorry for me, my Dad would tell me how lucky I was that I had to put so much effort into making myself a better shooter.  “Those who have early success without effort can have a hard time repeating that success,” he explained.  He also pointed out that the achievements I enjoyed the most were those for which I had to overcome obstacles. 

This subject often comes up with students who see others have an easier time with something they find difficult.  The truth is that if you figure out how to master the material that you are struggling with now, then you have gained a very important life skill—one that you can use repeatedly in different areas of your life. 

Natural talent is not always a transferrable skill, while hard work, persistence, and passion stay with you for life. 

The next time you are struggling, take a moment to embrace the challenge.  Remember that at the end, the victory is going to taste sweet.