Student walkout

                                                            Student Walkout

I wanted to wait a couple of weeks before I addressed this topic.  Time allows me to gain some perspective over the event.  In our school a group of students decided to organize and lead the student walkout.  They met once a week in person while communicating electronically throughout the week.  They met with the principal to keep him informed and everything seemed to be going smoothly.

The Friday before the walkout, administrators and our SRO (school police officer) started pulling students out of class to talk with them.  For some of the student leaders, this was 90 minutes of interrogation which none of them were used to.  At the end of the day they were told that they could not communicate with students through our traditional school platforms of announcements and homerooms. 

When I heard this at first, I was extremely upset.  Why was the administration not more supportive?  How can anyone not be supportive of non-violence in schools?  Why is not every teachers, administrator and student walking out together in protest of school violence?

Now with some perspective, I am glad that every student did not walk out of the building.  There were adult cynics who were claiming that students were just walking out to get out of class.  The fact that many students stayed in the building showed that the students who left were just leaving to support a cause they believed passionately about.  So, by everyone not leaving the students proved the adult cynics wrong.  That students are not about missing class but standing up for what they believe in.

Secondly, it was very impressive to see that the students who left, did not put any pressure on the students who stayed. The students who stayed did not pressure those who were leaving to stay in school.  While there were opposing arguments, both sides showed great respect for each other something our adult politicians could learn from.  In one of my classes we discussed the walkout and again both sides argued passionately to support their side of the argument but listen intently to the opposing viewpoints.

  If the school stood behind the student leaders, if everyone walked out together, it would have seemed way too easy.  The truth is that making real change in the world is difficult and that the student leaders were forced to face obstacles thrown at them from different directions was good.  It forced them to think, was this a cool thing to do or is this really something I am passionate about doing.  It made them realize that making change in the world is a difficult thing to do and no matter how right you think you are there are always going to be those who pushback.

At the end of the day I realize that you need to give things time before you make judgements.  That things worked out for the best because there was opposition which allowed all of us an opportunity to learn.  I now feel more optimistic about our country than ever before since I know that our students will play an active role in the process

Freedom

                                               

  I am an economics teacher so I thought I might discuss some real-world implications tied to salary.  When I was working with a corporation, one of my rules was to live two levels below my salary.  What I mean by that is when I was a supervisor of multiple stores I lived off the salary of being a manager of one store. 

Why would I do that?  My thought was that if I was fired I could always go work for another company and get a job two levels below the position I had.  That it allowed me to walk away from the job if I was asked to do something that I did not think was ethical.  It also was a way to make sure that I was doing the job because I loved it not because I was making so much money.

I remember when our owner came back to run the day to day business.  He came back with a strong theory that he was going to cultivate a family atmosphere inside the company and wanted to also make our 15” pizza into a 16” family pizza.  He thought the bigger pizza would feed the family better and work well with his family theme.

My first thought was that no customer was going to be able to tell the difference between the two different pizza sizes.  So that the customer was not going to think they were going to get more pizza and it was only going to cost us more money as we would put more sauce, cheese and items on the pizza.  Each week our owner would call me to ask how the rollout of the family pizza was doing in my region of the country.  This went on for about three weeks with me making up reasons why we did not roll it out, yet. 

Finally, one week the owner lost his patience with me and asked why I had not rolled out the bigger sized pizza.  When I explained my reasoning that I did not think the customer would notice and it would just cost us money, the owner hung up on me.  Never a good sign.  I had to make a business decision and the fact that I was not tied to my salary gave me the freedom to do that.

When the profit statements came in however, my region earned more money than the rest of the company.  My risk paid off.  When I reflect on that decision would of it been different if I needed this high paying job to pay off my bills?  Was it easier to be bold when you knew you could get a job at a lower salary?

To get outlier results you must do things differently than the norm.  I thought living below my means allowed me to make decisions with much less fear and freedom than my colleagues.  That the fact that I did neither worry about job security or wages freed up my mind to focus on solving the problems of the company.

One day I woke up and realized that I did not want to travel around the country anymore being a corporate executive.  I had lost the passion for the job.  So, because I was living below my means it was easy to walk away from this job and find my true passion which is teaching.  Never once as a teacher have I looked back and thought I wish I was still living that corporate life. The students I teach have filled my heart with joy, gratitude and passion to make the world a better place, which more than compensates for the difference in pay.

Love to hear your thoughts.

Empathy

                                                            Empathy

In our school we are trying to change the climate of our school so that every child feels that they have at least one adult in the building who cares about them.  As we push to be a more caring faculty we realize that we not only have to show empathy to the students but to each other. (empathy quick two minute video)

Empathy can be hard to do.  When people come to us with problems we tend to try to diminish the problem which does not truly help.  Sometimes nothing can make it better except for a person listening, taking your perspective, not judging you and connecting with you.  There are a couple of examples that happened  this week that really showcase empathy in action and how it can make a difference.

On a personal note I was having a couple of bad days.  As happens with me at times, I take this out on people who had no impact on why I was feeling down.  I have some people in my life which I call my critical friends.  They are the people who in my life will point out when I am not living my values.   When my friend pointed this out to me, I totally agreed and apologized for my actions.  They made sure that I knew that they were not judging me but instead trying to help me.

The no judgement part was great to hear.  I tend to beat myself up about these types of things.   The next day as I was getting more back to myself, my friend made sure to see me during my off period.  Just checking in on me to see how my day was going and what they could do to make it better.  Again, there was no focus on my poor behavior but the focus was on, I am here if you need me, which brought a smile to my face.

Many times, we get so caught up in the behavior that we do not step back and think what causes this person to act this way?  Recently a student acted out of character.  Instead of talking to the student about the behavior and how unacceptable it was (which she already knew) we talked about what caused her to act that way.  As we continued to talk about what caused the behavior I could feel our bond getting stronger which is what she needed.  Someone to listen to her and understand what was really troubling her.  At the end she said, ‘I just needed to talk to someone”

 I truly recommend a critical friend, a person who you trust is going to have the strength to tell you when you are off track and who you know is only doing it for your benefit.  Changing habits is hard to do and what I have found is that the critical friend provides feedback which allows you to grow.  It is also sometimes easier to change when you are working together with someone else.

A national survey of students reported that 8-10 students said that they would be kinder if they knew just one adult in the building cared about them.  My guess is that is probably true of all of us, if we know someone cares about us it gets us to act with kindness and gratitude. 

I will leave you with this quote, “Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about” Be kind, to yourself and others, it really makes a difference.  Forgive yourself at night, and recommit to your goals in the morning.

Please feel free to comment below as I would love to have a conversation.  Here is a link to another video about empathy that you might enjoy.  health care

How my son taught me to be gritty

                                            

Angela Duckworth, the co-founder of the Character Lab, sends out a weekly message to all the people who work with her.  This weekly practice has inspired me to try to send out a weekly commentary to all my students.  Since Angela, is the leading psychologist on GRIT, I thought in her honor my first message would be about GRIT.

My youngest son has taught me so much about being gritty.  I remember when he played organized baseball for the first time.  It was the first time that you had a chance to compare him to other kids his own age.  He had a very weak arm, did not field well and really struggled at the plate.  As often happens at that age he was put in the outfield, where balls a rarely hit, and batted last.  Despite probably being the weakest player on the team he fell in love with the sport.

That summer we often went outside to play catch and when I was inside the house I would often hear the ball being thrown against the wall of our house.  He was determined to get better.  As the summer progressed we continued to move from simple catches, to pop flies, to catching fly balls over his shoulder.  By the end of the summer he progressed to being an average fielder.

As the years went on he loved both watching and playing the game of baseball.  He continued to improve athletically.   Watching so much baseball gave him the knowledge of the game which allowed him to make some plays that other kids could not.

This year as a freshman in high school he tried out for the ninth grade baseball team.  The school he attends is one of the baseball powers of the area and I truly wondered could he make the team.  He told me, “Dad you cannot make the team unless you try out for the team” The other day after practice he told me, “I made it”.

It would have been easy for him to give up and stop playing.  There were a lot of bumps along the way.  Times where he did not want to go to bat for fear of letting the team down.  Coaches who lost confidence in him.  Despite it all, he was not going to allow anyone to take away his love for the game.

There is a lot to learn from my son.  I think many of us underestimate how much we can improve if we really focus on improving.  How that if you continue to practice, listen to the feedback you get, use your strengths (in his case his mental knowledge of the game) to help improve your weaknesses (athletic ability) learn from your mistakes, you can really overcome a lack of talent.

That learning is not always easy or fun.  That many times learning is frustrating (try missing pitch after pitch).  It is often boring (try chasing 1,000 pop flies one summer) but that is how we get better.  It does not happen overnight and improvement is not linear.  It is working hard each day so that you level off at a higher spot.

So my challenge to you is pick something difficult for you and develop a plan to get better.  It does not have to be a school thing it can be anything.  I am working on generous assumptions.  Generous assumptions is just giving people the benefit of the doubt, not assuming the worst but the best.

I want these to be meaningful to you, so please give me feedback on how to make them better.  Have an awesome week.

Impact

I was thinking that at the start of the year students, teachers, and parents are expecting some sort of growth from each class that they participate in.  That since you are in the class for almost a year that you should get a year's worth of growth. 

When we talk about good teachers can we visibly demonstrate the growth students had in their class rooms.  Can students and parents provide evidence to say this teacher had a greater impact on my child than another teacher?

So think about good teachers you have had, what evidence would you show to demonstrate the impact that they have had on you?  Now mind you that this impact does not only have to do with academics, it can be social, emotional, dance, sports etc.

I know that it is against the social norms to respond to blogs but I truly would like to hear your opinion on this. 

Social Norms

Social Norms are unwritten rules about how to behave. They provide us with an expected idea of how to behave in a particular social group or culture.  In talking with a former student they brought up the fact that the social norm in school is for students not to really raise their hands.

So I started to think when does this social norm occur.  You can go into a kindergarten class, and you will often see kids raising their hands enthusiastically, hoping that the teacher calls on them.  There are times in kindergarten where you might see ten or twelve hands up at the same time.  However, when you go to most high school classes, you get a couple of hands up at a time.  Often if a student asks a lot of questions you might hear other students muttering under their breath.  What changed?

Now I realize that teachers are responsible for some of the changes.  We often in a rush to cover all the curriculum and are not receptive to encouraging or taking questions in class.  However, I think that the problem goes beyond the teacher and again just spills into the unwritten social norm that seems to pervade most high school classes.

If we change this social norm more students will leave the class room with an understanding of the topic.  Instead of just sitting in the class confused they will ask questions that will help them understand.  Students will also take risks when answering questions which will help them learn from their mistakes.  I have no doubt that the learning will truly increase in the class room if we could just break down this social norm.

So the purpose of the blog is not to provide an answer to this problem but rather seek from you the reader solutions to the problem.  I would like to break this social norm in my class next year.  I want when I ask are their any questions for hands to fly up, when I ask a question that twenty students know the answer that they raise their hands, that the social norm becomes you need to raise your hand in this class.

If I think of most of the things that I do in class that work they were suggested to me by students.  So please take the time to answer the question and provide me with feedback to change the class room environment and break down this social norm.

Don't Panic

A couple of days ago a friend of mine started to rant to me about how unfair it was that his son was rejected from Harvard.  He told me how many extra curricular activities his son participated in, how great his SAT scores were, and also had an awesome GPA..  He ended his rant with what more do they want from this kid and what happens if he ends up at Towson?  I think he was looking for empathy instead he received this message in return.

My first words were don't panic.  I know many students who did not go to their first or second choice of schools and had a great college career.  The truth is that your number one choice is based on not a lot of information, maybe a quick visit, and the reputation of the school.  I have believed for a long time that the STUDENT is more important than the school.  All schools allow you the opportunity to learn and be successful.

Secondly, I expressed that this was probably the first time in his son's academic career that he was rejected.  While nobody likes rejection, it is good that it happens while he is still at home getting support from both his parents.  Students often see rejection letters as signs of failures where the truth is that just being in the hunt is quite an honor.  A school like Harvard get 10,000 applicants all who can handle the workload.

My next point was about Towson.  I know one of the brightest students I have ever taught went to Towson.  She was set to go to NYU when her funding disappeared, and she had to go to Towson.  She was angry about it and went to Towson with a horrible attitude.  After two months she loved the school, felt very challenged academically and has finished her PHD in psychology.  My point being that you can find your way at all schools. 

I then told him that if the purpose of going to college is for his son to learn, to grow, to find his passion that he will be able to do this anywhere.  The truth being that if he does not go to a high priced school he might truly find the flexibility to follow his dreams and not fall to economic pressures that going to a high price school sometimes puts on its students.

My last piece of advice was to tell his son to find his passion the next four years and stop working on his resume.  Join activities that you like or you think you will like but do not do them because you think future employers want to see them on your resume.  Follow your heart and you will end up in the right place.

I ended with pushback on any or all of these comments.  I invite you to do the same.