Stress gets a bad reputation. We talk about it like it’s the enemy—something to avoid, escape, or eliminate. But when you really think about what causes stress in your life—your job, school, friends, parents, and relationships, you realize something important: your life would feel empty without these things. Stress exists because something matters. You can’t live without stress, but you can learn to manage it and even use it to your advantage.
The first step in making stress your friend is to
acknowledge it instead of fighting it. Feeling stressed means you care about
the outcome. You wouldn’t feel anxious about a test if school didn’t matter, or
worried about a relationship if the person wasn’t important to you. Stress is a
signal that you are invested. Rather than seeing it as weakness, see it as a
helper.
The second step is realizing that stress is not just unavoidable,
it can actually be helpful. When you feel stressed, your body is preparing
itself to perform. Your heart rate increases, your breathing changes, and more
oxygen is sent to your brain. This isn’t your body panicking; it’s your body
getting ready to rise to the challenge. Stress is often your body saying, “This
matters. Let’s go.”
Researchers tested this idea in an experiment with college
students before a final exam. One group, the control group, was told to relax
and take deep breaths to reduce stress. The other group, the experimental group,
was told that stress was a good thing: that it meant they were excited,
focused, and receiving more oxygen to the brain. They were encouraged to view
stress as a performance booster rather than a threat. The results were
powerful. The students who were told stress was helpful, outperformed the group that was told to calm
down.
