What is it like to be a man

 This week's blog is written by a guest blogger.  GUEST BLOGGERS ARE ALWAYS WELCOME.

What Makes a Man 

 

This weekend, I was lucky enough to hear a talk by Dr. Matthew Moser, an assistant professor of theology at Loyola University Maryland. He came to speak about how society defines a great man. 

 

He began by asking us to name some men we saw as role models today. Audience members called out a lot of athletes: Tom Brady, David Goggins, Michael B. Jordan. There was a common thread in most of their stories: All of them seemed to be self-made, hyper-successful, and fully in control of how their lives played out. 

 

Dr. Moher stated that those three things were what society typically used to define a good man—someone who is successful, self-sufficient, and totally in control. 

He continued by pointing out that while these ideals are not bad on their own, many choose to make them the end goal without realizing the process that makes them so great. 

 

He started by explaining success. Many of his own students viewed success as getting an A in their class. What it took to get that A did not matter. This led to cheating, copying, and throwing integrity to the wind in pursuit of success. Moher went on to say that while success is good, the pursuit of excellence and personal improvement is what we should really strive for. 

 

Our discussion led to the topic of self-sufficiency. One student asked if it was a bad thing to be self-sufficient. After all, many high schoolers feel pressured to be their own person and take responsibility for their own lives without aid from their parents after they leave for college. Dr. Moher agreed but emphasized the importance of recognizing our dependence on each other. He joked that none of us hunted for our own food or built the roofs over our heads. No man can live on an island. Part of the process of being independent is recognizing the gifts we’ve been given by others and using them accordingly. 

 

He concluded the talk by discussing control. Almost everyone wishes they could control every aspect of their lives. With control comes certainty. With certainty, there is no reason to doubt or have any fear. Dr. Moher explained that while many see the greats of society in complete control of their lives, they have just about as much control as you or I do. Part of being great means understanding that you cannot control everything. Letting go of that desire and focusing on what you can change rather than fixating on things outside of your reach is part of growth. 

There were a lot more points that Dr. Moher made later in our discussion that I wish I had time to touch on in this blog, but I, for one, am extremely grateful for the experience, and I hope everyone who is reading gets as much out of this as I did.