The other day, I was about to give a compliment to a fellow teacher, but I held back. It made think about how often this occurs and why. When I reflected further, I realized that I often missed opportunities to compliment others.
Now, why would this be? I know from receiving compliments that they make me feel good and often can improve my mood. What I struggle with are my negative thoughts about how the compliment will be received and how I should word it. This reaction often causes me to stay silent, as I do not think I will phrase it correctly.
Erica Boothby (more here) has done research on compliments. She has found that the compliment giver underestimates the positive impact of the compliment and overestimates the negative impact. In general, the recipient does not feel uncomfortable with the exchange.
The research also showed that the compliment giver improved their mood. Like many other positive acts—such as donating money, feeling gratitude, or sharing words of kindness—both the receiver and the giver get a boost.
Therefore, the next time you are having a difficult time paying a someone a compliment, reflect on your reasons. Remember that the receiver interprets the compliment in a positive way.
Then go ahead and give them the compliment. You will make their day, and just as importantly, make yourself feel better
Compliments are something that we should give every day!
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