In honor of my Dad

This is my first Thanksgiving in which my Dad is not alive.  In his honor I am reprinting the gratitude letter I sent him last year. 

Dear Dad, 

I am truly thankful for all the support you have given me throughout my life.  When I was younger you let me try things even though you knew they were not going to work.  You realized that there were times that I just needed to learn on my own and could (or would) not take the advice of a more experienced person.  You never said I told you so when I failed but were there to support me and make sure that I learned from my mistakes 

You taught me that winning was a good thing but loving the journey was the more important thing.  How to make the boredom of practice fun by making it somewhat competitive.  I was able to take that with me even in the pizza business when we had contests who could fold boxes the fastest or could we answer every phone call in one ring.  It still makes me smile to picture people sprinting to the phones to get them in one ring. 

You made me realize that money was not the important driver of the world, but people were.  In business my two driving practices were to take care of our people and customers better than anyone else in the world.  I think what allowed me to focus this way was that I was never driven to make a lot of money.  Family and friends were what was important to you and rubbed off on me. 

Thank you most importantly for your unconditional love 

With deep appreciation and gratitude. 

 

Please do not miss the opportunity to tell your friends and family members how much they mean to you.  Just make the call, send the card or a text.  Do not worry if it is worded perfect the receiver will most definitely appreciate the thought. 

Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. 

compliments

The other day, I was about to give a compliment to a fellow teacher, but I held back.  It made think about how often this occurs and why. When I reflected further, I realized that I often missed opportunities to compliment others. 

Now, why would this be?  I know from receiving compliments that they make me feel good and often can improve my mood.  What I struggle with are my negative thoughts about how the compliment will be received and how I should word it.  This reaction often causes me to stay silent, as I do not think I will phrase it correctly. 

Erica Boothby (more here) has done research on compliments. She has found that the compliment giver underestimates the positive impact of the compliment and overestimates the negative impact.  In general, the recipient does not feel uncomfortable with the exchange. 

The research also showed that the compliment giver improved their mood.  Like many other positive acts—such as donating money, feeling gratitude, or sharing words of kindness—both the receiver and the giver get a boost. 

Therefore, the next time you are having a difficult time paying a someone a compliment, reflect on your reasons.  Remember that the receiver interprets the compliment in a positive way. 

Then go ahead and give them the compliment.  You will make their day, and just as importantly, make yourself feel better