struggle to learn

Last week in my blog I mentioned that defeating fear is one of the most important things to do to be successful.  I received a lot of feedback stating that fear does hold people back.  The fear of losing, fear of looking dumb, and the fear of struggling while others seem to be cruising.

Can struggling help you learn.  Let’s look at two lists of words.  What I would like you to do is look at both lists for an equal amount of time.

A                                                                         B

Ocean/breeze                                                 bread/b_tter

Leaf/tree                                                          music/l_rics

Movie/actress                                                 sh_e/sock

Gasoline/engine                                             phone/bo_k

High school/college                                       chi_s/salsa

Turkey/stuffing                                               pen_il/paper

Fruit/vegetable                                               river/b_at

Computer/chip                                                television/rad_o

Chair/couch                                                     l_nch/dinner

Without looking try to remember as many pair of words as you can.  From which column do you recall more words?  If you are like most people you should remember two to three times as many words from column B.

So why does this happen?  When you examined the words in column B, you stopped, you stumbled and for a second you struggled.  You did not practice harder with column B you practiced deeper (more info)

Another example happens quite often in the classroom.  A teacher calls on a student who is struggling to figure out the answer.  His friend trying to help the student out tries to whisper the answer to him so that the teacher can not hear.  The truth of the matter is if you give the student the answer they probably will not remember it in the future.  However, if they are forced to struggle, retrieve the information themselves then they are more than likely to remember this information in the future.

So, the next time a teacher asks you a tough question, do not ask your partner for the answer.  Instead force yourself to struggle, because when you struggle at the edge of your ability, where you make mistakes you become smarter.

The great thing about deep practice is that we are not asking you to work longer just harder.

Nuggets of wisdom from Angela Duckworth

This week a group of students and teachers went to visit the University of Pennsylvania.  During that time Angela Duckworth, founder of character lab (here}, was gracious enough to talk with us for 45 minutes.  Here are some of her responses to student questions

FEAR

After giving the group some background on her work she opened the floor for some questions.  When students were hesitant at the start she talked about the importance of getting over your fears.  Angela talked about recently going to her reunion.   Angela and her friend were wondering what made some of these people more successful than others.  They both concluded it was not the smartest people but the most fearless who became the most successful.  She encouraged the students to get over their fears.

PASSION

Angela defines GRIT as passion and perseverance.  That people often think about perseverance as the hard part but that for many people the passion part is difficult.  Her advice was thinking about what you do with your free time?  She also cautioned that many times you do not know what you like?  That you may need to ask your friends or parents. Then once you figure out what you like try it.  Take an internship or follow a person who does that type of job.  That this type of experience will help you figure out if you want to continue this path.    

SUCCESS

        One is the resilience to overcome failure.  That people who are the best in what they do have often faced many rejections but refuse to quit.   That when your passion is so strong that everything you learn about you bring into your field.  So, when one of the best clinical psychologists learned to dance she brought that into her therapy.  Angela used the analogy of when you are walking on the beach, you do not truly notice everything on the beach.  However, once you start building a sand castle you realize that the sand, sea shells, branches, and water are all needed to make the castle.  So, when you find your passion you are continually bringing knowledge from different places into your field.

COLLEGE ADVICE

 First these schools are not looking for the students who spend an extra ten hours trying to get a 95 to a 97.  They want students who show their passion in something else besides school.  Athletics, clubs etc.  They are not looking for resume builders, they do not want a student who is in ten clubs with little interest nor do they want a student who makes up a club so that he can be the President.  They want students who have a passion for something and demonstrate that over their high school career.

SELF REGULATION OF DEVICES

Angela mentioned how these games were designed to get you addicted (like crack cocaine) to them.  That if you wanted to reduce your use that you needed to put the devices out of sight.  That the further away you put the device the less chance you had to reach for them.

Anytime I hear Angela Duckworth talk I learn something new.  I would love to hear what resonated the most with you.

turn fear into excitement

I was going to receive an award that also required a speech in front of a big crowd.  I was extremely nervous pacing around in the back of the room when my mentor came up to me and said., “calm down, relax, and take some deep breaths”.  When I heard my name being called for the award I kept thinking of my mentors’ words to stay calm and be relaxed.  Now I wonder did my mentor give me the correct advice.

Alison Woods Brooks, a professor at Harvard, asked students to give a persuasive speech.  She gave them two minutes to prepare, which made many of the students visibly shake.  When Brooks asked 300 professionals what advice they would give these students 90% agreed with my mentor in saying that they would tell them to relax.

Before the students gave the speech (quick video) she randomly asked them to say three words.  One group would say “I am calm” and another group would say “I am excited”.  What impact did that one word have on the outcome?  When students used the word excited 17% of the student’s speeches were rated more persuasive and 15% more confident.

Now will these same reframing work in other areas.  Brooks tried this with students facing a difficult math test.  She again randomly assigned the students and found similar results.  When students stated that they were excited to take the test they scored 22% better than students who did not say anything at all or who said I am calm.

Why does this work.  When you state that you are excited about something you are turning the negative anxiety into a positive emotion which allows you to perform better.  When you state that you are excited you are changing your mindset from threatening to a mindset of opportunity.

So next time you feel that anxiety building before a test, speech, interview or even a date remind yourself that you are excited.

As always your thoughts and feedback are welcome.

self-regulation

As research continues to come out it seems more and more apparent that self-regulation is an important ingredient to academic success.  Now I think if you asked most students they would agree that self-control is an important ingredient however they might not know any strategies to improve in this important characteristic.  So here are some strategies that you might use to improve your own self-regulation (more strategies).

When I was a basketball coach one of my responsibilities was to make sure that our players were both academically and athletically successful.  On the academic side we made all our players sit in the front of the class and on the front half of the seat.  The fact that you are sitting in front of the class forces you to pay more attention and it is much harder to fall asleep or check your phone. Sitting on the front half of your seat helped students stay more alert in class.

Secondly, one of the things that I found from KIPP schools to help students focus better in class was tracking the speaker.  If you force yourself to look at everyone who speaks in class, it makes it a little easier to then engage in the conversation.

Thirdly, when at home doing school work, put your electronics in another room.  In a study they put cookies in a glass jar in which secretaries could see the cookies.  Another group of secretaries had a jar full of cookies that they could not see through the jar.  The secretaries who could see the cookies ate almost twice as many cookies as those who could not see them.  Do not tempt yourself put your electronics in another room powered off while you are working.  You will find that you save a lot of time and truly comprehend the material better.

Last but maybe most importantly get a good night’s sleep.  It is extremely hard to focus if you are tired and fighting to keep awake.  Figure out your time management so that you can go to bed approximately the same time each night and get 7-9 hours of sleep.

My challenge to you is to pick one of these strategies, work them for a month and see if you performance improves.

proposing a new idea

“I remember I was about to go into the President of our company’s office to pitch an idea that everyone told me he was opposed to. I had the data to show that my idea was correct, but I knew this meeting was not going to be about data. I started the meeting with, “Tom, here are the three biggest reasons why I think my idea will not work”.  When I started to explain the third obstacle in our way he interrupted me to explain how he thought we could overcome obstacle number two. 

Psychologist would explain that starting with your obstacles disarms the audience.  That when people come in with tremendous confidence and talk about how great the idea is that the listener naturally starts to think about ways to poke holes in it.  That the listener feels like you are trying to sell them something and that makes them suspicious. 

The second advantage that psychologist would point out is that it makes you look smart.  That you are not so overconfident in your ideas that you could not see the pitfalls.  It proves to the person you are trying to persuade that you took the time to examine the obstacles that must be overcome to make the idea successful. 

Thirdly,  It shows that you are trustworthy, knowledgeable and honest.  Now this could backfire on you if you present an obstacle that your audience was not thinking about, but the truth is that most of the times when hearing a new idea your audience is going to be very skeptical anyhow. 

The fourth advantage of starting with your obstacles is that it makes it harder for the audience to think of more problems.  You have already given three or four of the major problems and therefore it is very hard to tack on more to your list. 

As I finished my presentation with the President he said, “We have overcome bigger obstacles than this.  Go ahead with the idea I think it will work.” 

So, the next time you have to present a new or controversial idea think about starting with the obstacles first.

social clock

Social clock establishes the culturally preferred timing of important transitions in life, like going to college, picking your major, finding your first job, getting married and starting a family. During the past month I have had conversations with many of my former students who are struggling with meeting these cultural timelines.

 My advice to them is to break the clock, stop worrying about these made up timelines and cultivate your passion.  That most people at 22 do not know who they are going to marry, nor do they know what they are going to spend the rest of their life doing.  So instead of worrying I advise them to cultivate their passion.

Why do I pick the word cultivate instead of finding your passion?  To me when someone states you should find your passion it almost makes it seem like it is there if you could just locate it and that there is only one passion for you.  I rather use the word cultivate since that means to promote the growth of your passion.

How do you cultivate your passion?  Listen to what other people appreciate about you.  Ask the people you trust what makes you different than other people?  What are some characteristics that people identify as you.  Reflect upon what causes you care about and the difference you want to make in the world.

When you have done some of this reflection jump into action.  If you are in school take some classes to see if they help increase your passion.  At one point I wanted to be a college basketball coach, so I volunteered to coach at a University.  Realize when you first dip you toe into the water that you are going to struggle at first, you are new at it so be ready to make mistakes.  If you however enjoy spending your time thinking about how to improve and looking forward to the challenges of the next day you are probably on the right path.

As those of you who know me realize I am not a basketball coach.  So, I had to try many things out before I realized that education was my calling.

Be patient with yourself, life is sometimes messy, and the path is not always clear.  It is worth the wait however, since when you are working on something that you are passionate you have tremendous intrinsic motivation.

  I have ended many of these conversations with students by telling them, “I do not know what you are going to do but I do know that you are going to make the world a better place”. That is all we can ask.

College acceptance

I was on the airplane coming home from visiting my father when the person next to me asked if I taught at Johns Hopkins.  I explained that the jacket was a gift from a student of mine who was accepted to Hopkins.  She then told me that her son was applying to Hopkins and if he did not get accepted how totally unfair it would be. She told me how many extra curricular activities her son participated in, how great his SAT scores were, that his GPA was awesome.   She ended her rant with what more do they want from these kids and what happens if he ends up at Towson? 

My first words were don't panic.  I know many students who did not go to their first or second choice of schools and had a great college career.  The truth is that your number one choice is not based on a lot of information, maybe a quick visit, and the reputation of the school. You probably gather more information on a person who you date for the first time.  I have believed for a long time that the STUDENT is more important than the school.  All schools allow you the opportunity to learn, cultivate your passion and be successful.

Secondly, I expressed that this might be the first time in her son's academic career that he was rejected.  While nobody likes rejection, it is good that it happens while he is still at home getting support from both his parents.  Students often see rejection letters as signs of failures where the truth is that just being in the hunt is quite an honor.  A school like Hopkins probably gets over 20,000 applicants most of them top students like her son.

My next point was about Towson.  I know one of the brightest students I have ever taught went to Towson.  She was set to go to NYU when her funding disappeared, and she had to go to Towson.  She was angry about it and went to Towson with a horrible attitude.  After two months she loved the school, felt very challenged academically and has finished her PHD in psychology.  My point being that you can find your way at all schools. 

We then discussed if the purpose of going to college was to learn, grow, and cultivate your passion then you could probably accomplish that at many different colleges.  The truth being that if he does not go to a high-priced school he might truly have the flexibility to follow his dreams without the worries of paying back student loans.

My last thought was to tell her son to cultivate his passion instead of building his resume during his college years.  This would allow him to find a job he loves and can excel in.

I ended my rant asking her to pushback on any or all of these comments.  I invite you to do the same.  Want to see what famous psychologist thinks about college admissions read (here).