Sunday, February 5, 2023

Just say No

 

In school, I see some students joining as many activities as possible to boost their resume for college applications.  They are taking more AP classes than ever before and always pushing for the highest grade.  What worries me about these students: Will they ever be content?  Or will they always be on a treadmill, never taking the time to enjoy their accomplishments?

This summer, the Ravens’ quarterback Lamar Jackson was negotiating his contract.  While the billionaire owner was negotiating with a millionaire player, I wondered, how much money did either party need to live a good life?  How many accomplishments do you need to feel fulfilled?  How many awards do you need to make yourself happy? 

More is not always better.  As a matter of fact, I might argue most times it is not.  This summer, I reflected upon why I became a teacher.  In answering that for myself, I developed a list of questions I now ask myself before I say yes to any request:

1.      Is what is being asked of me aligned with my values and why I became a teacher?  If the answer is no, I respond “no” to the ask.

2.      Will what is being asked of me make me happy?  There are times I might do something that just brings me joy. 

3.      Will what is being asked of me make me a better husband, father, teacher, or colleague?  I still enjoy growing in all of these areas.

The challenge is that we often feel guilty when we say “no”.  The truth is that when you learn to say “no,” you do the things that are important to you better.  “No” might be the answer to improving mental health for all of us.

As always, your feedback is appreciated.

1 comment:

  1. Phil- Thanks for sharing this. I think as a teacher I often say yes without thinking. I'm getting better at thinking of whether it makes me or my students better.

    I think about number 3 a lot for myself--I hope that we all seek to grow to be better to those around us. I know that I appreciate you and the work you do to be a mentor to those around you.

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