College acceptance

 

One of my students felt discouraged when he was rejected from several selective colleges this year.  My first comment to him was that he should not take it personally.  Truthfully, he did all he could academically and with extracurriculars. Sometimes, it comes down to whether the school needs a student from the East or West coast.

I also told him that the college experience is more about the student than the school.  Every college offers you the chance to explore your passion—the four-year experience is what the individual student makes of it.

I have students get rejected from their first choice and have a great four years at their second or third choice. When you think about your dream school, ask yourself these questions: How many times have you been on the campus?  How many classes have you attended there?  It is almost like thinking that you will get married after just one date.

When I reflect on the many former students who had great experiences at their second- or third-choice schools, I realize that they were determined to get the most out of college in the same way they made the most out of high school.

The challenge that students face is not to take the rejection personally.  Also, do not compare yourself to other students who might have been accepted to a school from which you were rejected. The acceptance decision is something that only makes sense to the admissions officers.

Just say No

 

In school, I see some students joining as many activities as possible to boost their resume for college applications.  They are taking more AP classes than ever before and always pushing for the highest grade.  What worries me about these students: Will they ever be content?  Or will they always be on a treadmill, never taking the time to enjoy their accomplishments?

This summer, the Ravens’ quarterback Lamar Jackson was negotiating his contract.  While the billionaire owner was negotiating with a millionaire player, I wondered, how much money did either party need to live a good life?  How many accomplishments do you need to feel fulfilled?  How many awards do you need to make yourself happy? 

More is not always better.  As a matter of fact, I might argue most times it is not.  This summer, I reflected upon why I became a teacher.  In answering that for myself, I developed a list of questions I now ask myself before I say yes to any request:

1.      Is what is being asked of me aligned with my values and why I became a teacher?  If the answer is no, I respond “no” to the ask.

2.      Will what is being asked of me make me happy?  There are times I might do something that just brings me joy. 

3.      Will what is being asked of me make me a better husband, father, teacher, or colleague?  I still enjoy growing in all of these areas.

The challenge is that we often feel guilty when we say “no”.  The truth is that when you learn to say “no,” you do the things that are important to you better.  “No” might be the answer to improving mental health for all of us.

As always, your feedback is appreciated.