Marble Jar

 

Last week, I was having a difficult day at work, which caused me to withdraw some marbles from my gratitude jar. What is a gratitude jar? It’s a symbolic jar in which I put in a marble for everything I feel grateful for each day, so when a hard day comes along, I have built up enough positives to get me through it.

Psychologist Rick Hanson says “the brain is like Velcro for negative experiences, but Teflon for positive ones.” Our brain’s negativity bias means we remember difficult moments far more than we remember their positive counterparts.

To counteract this negativity bias, I do two exercises. One is writing down three good things each day. At first, it can be difficult to find three good things (there’s negativity bias at work). However, as I trained my brain, it has become easier. What I have realized is that my gratitude jar is filled up, and when an adverse event comes along, I often think about all the good things that have happened to me.

Secondly, I form a T chart of things that energize me and things that suck up my energy. I am energized by learning new things, by teaching students, and by seeing improvement in both myself and others. I try to schedule more of these types of things in my life. On the other hand, I do not like to manage adults. So, when given the chance to chair a committee or head up a project, I politely decline.

The challenge is to focus on what energizes you. Fill your marble jar up with grateful memories that you can save, so they are easy to turn to when you need them. Hopefully, both of these exercises will make you more resilient in the future.