Cheating

 I remember coaching our basketball team during a close game. The ref blew the whistle and signaled a foul on the opposing team’s best player. I jumped off the bench to inform the ref that it was the player’s fifth foul, so he should be disqualified. When the ref checked the home team’s book (which was ours), it showed the player only had four fouls. 

As I was sitting back down, I heard the opposing coach yell to the ref, “Coach Bressler is correct. That was number 24’s fifth foul. You either disqualify him or I will just take him out of the game.” The refs conferred and finally ruled that 24 fouled out. 

I do not think that if the roles were reversed, I would have done the same thing. I would have rationalized it somehow. But that day, I learned an important lesson. In the future, when comparable situations happened, I always thought of this story to help me make the right decision. 

It seems every year I end up writing a post about cheating. Most people rationalize cheating: everyone does it; the homework is stupid; I am not hurting anyone. One problem is, if we want something bad enough (like winning a game), our reasoning often becomes biased. 

Most people think that the best way to stop cheating is to punish people. While punishment often stops the behavior now, it does not necessarily change the behavior when others are not around. Therefore, what can we do? 

Gratitude can help. When you are grateful, you not only treat the person who was nice to you better, but also treat complete strangers better.  In a research study (here) people who thought about a time when they were grateful cheated less. The more grateful they felt, the less they cheated. 

Therefore, the next time you feel that you the urge to cut corners and cheat, which we all do, just think about something that you feel grateful about.  This should give you the inner strength to do the right thing even when nobody is looking.