Forgiving

When I stopped working for Domino’s Pizza, I had a falling out with one of my closest associates.  We had worked closely together for years.  He had mistreated a mutual friend, and when he refused to return my calls to discuss this matter, I decided to never talk to him again.  When his wedding invitation came in the mail, I quickly responded no. 

 I was reading a book about Gandhi in which he said, “hate the sin, love the sinner.” It made me think about my relationship with my friend.  Why was forgiveness so hard to do? 

It is often hard to forgive when you get either an insincere apology or no apology at all.  Gandhi’s quote made me realize that ignoring what happened with my friend had not worked.  That my friend’s actions were not meant to be malicious but rather occurred in trying circumstances in both of our lives. 

My friend traveled a lot, so it was hard to get a hold of him (before everyone had a cell phone).  He finally called me back at my house.  When my wife answered, he said, “Why is Phil calling me? I thought he hated me.” 

When I came to the phone and started talking, it was easy for both of us to exchange apologies.  As the conversation continued, I physically felt the tension leave my body. 

Until I talked with my friend, I had not realized how much tension and stress is caused by not forgiving.  I have made it a goal of mine to reflect once a month on any place where I need to forgive others or myself. 

My challenge to you is to think about anyone (including yourself) whom you should forgive.  It will amaze you how much better you will feel.