Gratitude journey with my Dad

I have spent this weekend in the hospital with my father.  As the doctors tell me that his heart is weakening,  I can see his memory weakening and I watch this proud man struggling.  While I realize  time catches up with all us I never thought it would catch up to him.

When my dad went to nap, I thought of the first time he took me to the Polo Grounds to see Willie Mays play against the Mets.  We opened Shea Stadium and he cultivated an interest in sports that I still have to this day.  There were so many sacrifices he made to be at my games or events that were important to me.  He was always my biggest supporter truly believing that I could make my dreams come true.  He somehow instilled in me that service was more important than money.

As I scanned through these memories and thoughts I realized that I did not tell him enough that I loved him or how much I appreciated what he did for me.  That this weekend was not about watching his heart weaken but about having the opportunity to show and express how much I loved him.

In the past five years I have been on a journey to become a more grateful and giving person.  While I am not there yet, I am much better at living in the moment and thanking those around me.  My father was never a person who truly expressed his emotions but rather thought that you knew he loved you.  I noticed however in the past couple of years that when I called, or visited he always mentioned how thankful he was and how much he loved me.

So, without each of us knowing it we both have been on this journey.  So, while his heart and memory are weakening, his soul is growing stronger.

I have my students write a gratitude letter around Thanksgiving every year.  Now however, I realize gratitude should not wait.  If you have someone who you need to thank reach out an express your gratitude.  Trust me you will make there day.