A couple of days ago a friend of mine started to rant to me about how unfair it was that his son was rejected from Harvard. He told me how many extra curricular activities his son participated in, how great his SAT scores were, and also had an awesome GPA.. He ended his rant with what more do they want from this kid and what happens if he ends up at Towson? I think he was looking for empathy instead he received this message in return.
My first words were don't panic. I know many students who did not go to their first or second choice of schools and had a great college career. The truth is that your number one choice is based on not a lot of information, maybe a quick visit, and the reputation of the school. I have believed for a long time that the STUDENT is more important than the school. All schools allow you the opportunity to learn and be successful.
Secondly, I expressed that this was probably the first time in his son's academic career that he was rejected. While nobody likes rejection, it is good that it happens while he is still at home getting support from both his parents. Students often see rejection letters as signs of failures where the truth is that just being in the hunt is quite an honor. A school like Harvard get 10,000 applicants all who can handle the workload.
My next point was about Towson. I know one of the brightest students I have ever taught went to Towson. She was set to go to NYU when her funding disappeared, and she had to go to Towson. She was angry about it and went to Towson with a horrible attitude. After two months she loved the school, felt very challenged academically and has finished her PHD in psychology. My point being that you can find your way at all schools.
I then told him that if the purpose of going to college is for his son to learn, to grow, to find his passion that he will be able to do this anywhere. The truth being that if he does not go to a high priced school he might truly find the flexibility to follow his dreams and not fall to economic pressures that going to a high price school sometimes puts on its students.
My last piece of advice was to tell his son to find his passion the next four years and stop working on his resume. Join activities that you like or you think you will like but do not do them because you think future employers want to see them on your resume. Follow your heart and you will end up in the right place.
I ended with pushback on any or all of these comments. I invite you to do the same.
I want to apologize in advance of some of the contradictions that I have written, but here it goes:
ReplyDeleteI agree with this blog, especially the second to last paragraph. I'll be honest-my freshman and sophomore years, I joined all of the clubs I could (I attended different club meetings every single day of the week) just so I could build my resume. However, junior and senior year rolled along and I realized that I shouldn't be motivated by college, but by who I want to be as an influential and beneficial person to society. So, I dropped almost all of the clubs that I participated in solely for college and even gave up my "beloved" President position for one of those clubs. In hindsight, I should've done this earlier-now I'm able to put more time into the clubs that I believe make a difference and be a part of the difference.
On the other hand, after getting into college, I find myself saying, "I wish I hadn't joined this club" or "I wish I weren't the President of this" or "I wish I had more fun in high school." So, I guess some factors ARE influenced by a student's desire to get into a good college.
Also, I do understand the "panic" that this person's family feels-it is evident that he has worked so hard up to this moment just to be rejected. Although all schools give students the opportunity to learn and be successful, schools like Harvard give students MORE opportunities because of its name and its foundation. BUT, Harvard is one of the top schools in the world, so in my honest opinion, no one should feel sad to be rejected from this school (I would've cried less if I hadn't gotten into Harvard): there are plenty of other amazing schools that I'm sure would be more than willing to accept him and the people who apply to Harvard are almost equally qualified and sometimes, the smallest detail makes a difference.
Sorry this is so long I'm on a 3 hour car ride
thanks for taking the time to respond.
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ReplyDeleteWhile I do agree with Sophie that Harvard gives students more opportunities because of its prestige, I also want to chime in and say that the school one goes to does not dictate one's future. This has become increasingly apparent to me as I watch my peers find jobs senior year. Currently interviewing for medical school, I've met plenty of people on the interview trail who come from state schools or took classes in community college. In addition, while more prestigious firms, ie like Wall Street banks, actively recruit from Ivy League institutions, I also know many of my peers who did not attend those schools with internships at the same places. Where you go to for your undergraduate education does not make or break your future - in my opinion, the environment that a student is in is often more important. Some thrive in places with Type A students who are self-motivated, others don't like the competitive nature. There are plenty of students who are not happy at Harvard - it isn't for everyone. I hope this may help your friend, Mr. Bressler! -Yilin
ReplyDeleteOh and also, I think that students should be encouraged to pursue extracurricular activities because they help students find their true passions in life, and that's the purpose of putting extracurriculars activities on resumes, because employers/admissions officers can see what someone is truly passionate about. I did not enjoy my first month at Harvard because many activities have not begun at that time, and it was then when I realized how important those activities were to my growth and purpose. It should be activities --> passion --> resume, not activities --> resume.
DeleteThanks for taking the time to respond. I think your message is good for all student who are both in high school and on their way to college. I would even push back a little on that Harvard gives people more opportunities because of their prestige. For some people they might wash out at Harvard because they are just not the best of the best where they could have thrived at a different school. So again I think that the person is more important than the school. I totally agree that it should be activities that allow you to find your passion.
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