A couple of days ago a friend of mine started to rant to me about how unfair it was that his son was rejected from Harvard. He told me how many extra curricular activities his son participated in, how great his SAT scores were, and also had an awesome GPA.. He ended his rant with what more do they want from this kid and what happens if he ends up at Towson? I think he was looking for empathy instead he received this message in return.
My first words were don't panic. I know many students who did not go to their first or second choice of schools and had a great college career. The truth is that your number one choice is based on not a lot of information, maybe a quick visit, and the reputation of the school. I have believed for a long time that the STUDENT is more important than the school. All schools allow you the opportunity to learn and be successful.
Secondly, I expressed that this was probably the first time in his son's academic career that he was rejected. While nobody likes rejection, it is good that it happens while he is still at home getting support from both his parents. Students often see rejection letters as signs of failures where the truth is that just being in the hunt is quite an honor. A school like Harvard get 10,000 applicants all who can handle the workload.
My next point was about Towson. I know one of the brightest students I have ever taught went to Towson. She was set to go to NYU when her funding disappeared, and she had to go to Towson. She was angry about it and went to Towson with a horrible attitude. After two months she loved the school, felt very challenged academically and has finished her PHD in psychology. My point being that you can find your way at all schools.
I then told him that if the purpose of going to college is for his son to learn, to grow, to find his passion that he will be able to do this anywhere. The truth being that if he does not go to a high priced school he might truly find the flexibility to follow his dreams and not fall to economic pressures that going to a high price school sometimes puts on its students.
My last piece of advice was to tell his son to find his passion the next four years and stop working on his resume. Join activities that you like or you think you will like but do not do them because you think future employers want to see them on your resume. Follow your heart and you will end up in the right place.
I ended with pushback on any or all of these comments. I invite you to do the same.
