Daring classrooms

 This summer, I had my students watch “Daring Classrooms” by Brené Brown (video here). In this talk, Brené explains that to have a great classroom, students must be vulnerable and not be shamed. For students to learn in your classroom, they must feel free to take risks and learn from their mistakes. 

When students laugh or make jokes about a student’s answer, it can derail this process. The students do not realize the harm they are doing when they make fun of a classmate. But the humor they often use among friends can bring shame into the classroom. As teachers, we can’t allow that behavior. 

When a teacher asks a question, there is usually a scattering of hands raised to answer it. Most of the time, students raise their hands when they know the answer. What we don’t see enough of are students who raise their hands when they don’t know the answer. This way, the teacher will walk through the process or have another student help to get to the correct answer. 

Too often, to prevent embarrassment, students walk out of a classroom without understanding the information the teacher has presented. They fear asking a question because of how they might be perceived by both the teacher and their fellow students. 

Nobody makes more mistakes in my classroom than I do. Each semester, I track my blunders (presently approaching 50) so students can understand that if the “expert” is making these mistakes, it is okay for them to make mistakes, too. 

Learning from mistakes is a difficult yet important skill. If you can learn from your mistakes, you will grow at a fast rate. 

The challenge for all of us is to take off our protective armor and allow ourselves to be vulnerable. We will all be better off if we do. 

Lessons from Coach

 

Lessons from Coach

 

A couple of months ago, one of my friends was booing at a baseball game. When I asked my friend why he booed, he told me he paid money for his ticket, and he could boo if he wanted.

The conversation triggered a memory of when I was an assistant basketball coach. We were playing our archrival in a keenly contested game. In the last seconds, we were up one point. Then we fouled the opposing team, sending them to the foul line with a chance to tie and win the game. To rattle the opposing shooter, our fans started to boo.

Within seconds, Coach called for a time-out. He then went to the score table to get the handheld microphone. He told the fans that we did not boo at this high school. If we booed again, he would pull the team off the court, and we would forfeit the game. He then placed the microphone back down on the score table. He sat down next to me and said, “Teachable moment.” This happened 30 years ago, and while I cannot remember whether we won the game, his message was unforgettable.

Next year, we had a transfer come into our basketball program who was touted as the best player to ever play at our school. During one of our first practices, Coach blew his whistle and called a foul on the new transfer player. The player replied, “Coach, the refs never see that.”  Coach replied, his voice rising with each word, “We want to win here. We, however, never intentionally violate the rules. If you cannot play within the rules, you should go back to your former high school.”

After practice, I asked Coach, did he think any other coach would have reacted in the same manner as he did? He said, “I do not get paid to worry about other coaches. We win a lot of games here, and we do it the right way.”

When I was named head coach of another school, I went to thank Coach for everything he taught me. I asked if he had any last words of wisdom. He said, “Many coaches talk about character. Be the type of coach that builds character.” That challenge resonates with me to this day.

Mentoring

 

I was talking with my friend when mentoring program at his company came up.  I said, “I have never seen a mentoring program that actually works.” Most of them require everyone to be a mentor, and the truth is, not everyone is cut out to be one.  My friend then asked me, “What were some of the characteristics of your best mentors?”

My mentors were usually good at their job.  More importantly, they took great pleasure in helping people grow.  They seemed to remember what it was like to be new at the job and were extremely helpful in navigating the sometimes-difficult terrain.

On reflection, I realized that my mentors never really gave me advice, even when I asked them directly.  Instead, they would ask me questions that forced me to think about situations from different perspectives.  What made this tactic powerful is that they left the decision-making process to me.  They just guided me down the path and provided me with the framework to solve future problems.

I think the best mentor-mentee relationships evolve into partnerships.  After a while, you no longer know who is the mentor and who is the mentee.  You just have two people helping each other grow into their best selves.

I often felt lucky that I had such good mentors.  Now, however, I realize that it was not luck.  Great mentors are the type of people who just have a way of finding those in need.  These people sensed that I needed some guidance, and they were there to help me.

When we finished our conversation, my friend said to me, “I do not think I am going to start a mentoring program.  Instead, I will just let it happen organically.”