Peer pressure

This week, there is a guest .  If anyone ever wants to write a guest column I would love it.

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, my three-year-old really lays it on thick for her big sister. She wears the same clothes, reads the same books, sings the same songs, and even tries to finish her sister’s sentences. I often try to convince my younger kid to think for herself—and she often does—but recently, I stopped myself, realizing how lucky she is to have a kind, compassionate, creative big sibling to walk alongside.

Conformity gets a bad rap. It conjures up images of peer pressure and bullying, driven by our unscratchable itch to fit in. Yet there’s almost nothing more human. We are a herd species, and throughout our history, societies have succeeded by cooperating and coordinating. As such, one of our most powerful instincts is to be part of something greater than ourselves—to find where others are and join in.

Luckily, social influence can be a potent force for positive behaviors. People are more likely to vote and conserve energy when they see others around them do the same. Kindness and empathy are contagious as well. In one set of studies, my colleagues and I found that people who witnessed others donating to charity and expressing concern for others tended to follow suit. And a recent meta-study found that prosocial acts like helping and generosity spread across people.

What can you do with this information? First, remember that the people around you are part of your environment. Like the air you breathe and the food you eat, their opinions, attitudes, and actions work their way into you—so try to keep the healthiest company you can. Second, you should remember that you are someone else’s environment, and might have more power to affect them than you realize.

Don’t listen to voices just because they’re the loudest. Explain to the young people in your life that bullies and extremists take up more than their fair share of airtime, and they try to convince people that if they want to fit in, they must fall in line.

Do make kindness loud. When you elevate, celebrate, and highlight positive behaviors—in yourself and others—you also make those actions more likely to spread.

With kindness and gratitude,

Jamil

Jamil Zaki, an associate professor of psychology at Stanford University, is the author of The War for Kindness: Building Empathy in a Fractured World.

Scarcity

We have all faced a situation in which we wanted something but could not have it. Economists call that scarcity. Scarcity happens when we have unlimited wants, but there are limited resources. While we discuss this topic in class, we never talk about how scarcity affects the decision-making process.

 

But researchers have looked at it, including one study conducted with sugarcane farmers. What make sugarcane farmers different is that most of their revenue comes at one time during the year. It would be like getting your entire salary in January-March and being poor from October-Dec. This circumstance allowed researchers to see how the decision-making process was different when the farmers were rich compared to when they were poor. 

The farmers performed better on cognitive tests when they were rich. So, the same people seemed like they were smarter when they were rich. This shows how scarcity can change the mental processes. 

Now, many of us do not face the issue of poverty. Many students and teachers, however, are faced with scarcity of time. If you are like me, you plug events, meetings, or chores into openings on your calendar. My thought process has always been, if I see an opening on my calendar, then I can attend a suggested meeting. 

This type of planning often leads to one high-energy event after another, where eventually you are at a meeting physically but not mentally. Sendhil Mullainathan and Eldar Shafir's book.  (more about scarcity) suggests that when planning your calendar, you build it around high-energy events. Therefore, you are not stacking one high-energy event on top of another. 

We all face scarcity, and now we realize it impacts our decision-making process. The challenge for all of us is how to manage our resources wisely.