optimism

Last week I discusssed that 40% of your happiness is based on your behaviors.  One of the behaviors that can increase happiness is optimism.  Now how can you practice optimism?

You can start by keeping a best possible selves diary.  While there are many ways to practice optimism, this specific activity has shown the best results in increasing well-being.  To try this out schedule 20-30 minutes in which you can be in a quiet place alone with your thoughts.  Think about what you expect your life to be five years from now.  Visualize a future for yourself in which everything turns out perfectly and then go write these thoughts down.  The writing part of this activity is important so do not skip it.

If you enjoyed the above activity continue to go back to it for the next month.  Be as specific as possible about your future.  Think about your most important goals and what they would look like if they all came true.

Another strategy is to think of different ways to interpret a situation.  I remember when we were debating scheduling in my school.  When they announced the change of schedules I felt very defeated and thought that there are no way students can be successful with this new schedule (45 min class time to 90).

When I calmed down, I asked myself a series of questions that helped me

               What good can come from this schedule change?

               Does it present any opportunities for me or my students?

               What can I learn from this decision-making process that will help me in the future?

What answering these questions did was help me stop the cycle of negativity and truly see some opportunities to make things better through the change in scheduling.

I also know on a personal level that sometimes I need to fight off pessimistic thoughts.  For example, I texted my friend (okay I never text people just trying to use a modern example) and they do not get back to me.  I start thinking do they not like me?  Do they not want to do this activity?

When I catch myself in this type of thought process I immediately stop and ask myself

                              What are other reasons why they have not got back to me?  Maybe they are busy, and they are thinking of ways to make time to get together.

All the above strategies are hard work.  It forces us to look at the world in a more positive outlook while making generous assumptions.  If you persist however the benefits could be immense.

gratitude and happiness

When I asked students is money a big driver of happiness many of them say yes.  The pie chart developed by psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky shows a different story.  The chart shows our happiness is 50% genetic.  We all have different set points which works like a thermostat.  Day to day events might change your happiness for a short period but eventually you come back to your set point .(happiness scale). 

Notice that life circumstances account for 10% of your happiness.  If you are just married, hit the lottery or suffer a tragedy the events impact you but within a couple of years you usually fall back to your original set point.  This has been backed up by a research study of the richest Americans who earn over ten million dollars a year.  The millionaires reported a happiness level slightly above those who work for them.

Intentional activities are 40% of your happiness and the way to change your set point.  One of those activities is gratitude.  You can write three good things each day, keep a gratitude journal, write gratitude letters or call people to express gratitude.  These intentional activities improve personal happiness.  But why?

First, gratitude allows you to remember the positive moments.  In taking joy in the some of the gifts of life you can maximize your satisfaction and enjoyment from these current events. 

Secondly, gratitude improves self-esteem.  When you realize what people have done for you and how much you have accomplished your confidence rises.  It also drives out the negative forces that so many people have in their lives.

Expressing gratitude also helps us from comparing our lives with others.  If you are thankful and appreciative for what you have, you are not going to compare yourself to others.

While it is extremely hard to express gratitude during personal adversity it might be the most important.  On days that I think there was nothing to be grateful about I force myself to come up with three good things.  Traumatic experiences or life events are less likely to surface on those who are regularly grateful.

There are many ways to express gratitude, some of which I mentioned above.  Choose the methods that feel most comfortable to you and begin raising your happiness set point.

Motivation

During this week a lot of students have discussed with me that money is a great motivator.  It reminded me of research that I had read.

The research was with college students who were given tasks to do.  If you did okay on the tasks you would get a small reward, good on the tasks a medium reward and then great on the tasks a great reward. (video)

What the researchers found out is that this type of motivation worked well for physical tasks.  So, if you were asking me to shovel the driveway or unload a truck this type of reward system worked well.  However, when cognitive tasks were brought into play this reward system did not work.  The people offered the biggest rewards did not get the best results.   Thinking about the money seemed to get in the way of the persons performance.

Now, that is not to say money is not important.  What is true is that you must pay people enough so that they are not worried about the money and that they can focus on the task at hand.  So, if money is not a motivator what is?

There seems to be three things that drive motivation once you take money off the table.  Autonomy, purpose and mastery.

In my own home I have seen mastery at work.  My son practices his guitar for hours without any compensation.  He was determined to become a better player and has spent endless hours working on mastering the guitar.  Why, because it is fun and because he could tell he was getting better.

Autonomy is another motivator which I have seen work in the school house.  During the year a teacher would allow students to work on a project with the only criteria that the project would help make the world a better place. They would present the project at a school wide fair.  What I noticed at the fair is that there were some amazing projects which were developed by students who did not usually shine in school.  When given the choice to work on a subject that truly interested them they were able to produce great products.

Lastly is purpose.  People generally want to make a bigger contribution to the world than making money.  People are motivated by companies that have a philosophy that uses their products or profits to a greater good.  My attraction to teaching is that every day we get a chance to make a difference is some persons life.

Money is a motivator in the sense that you must make it a non-issue.  Once you have accomplished that mastery, autonomy and purpose take over.

As always I appreciate your feedback.

Do you love teaching

I was coming home from visiting my Dad.  I was exhausted and really was planning to fall asleep on the plane before it took off.  When the person I was sitting next to asked me what I did for a living?  When I replied I am a teacher, he rolled his eyes and said, “do you enjoy it”

I knew immediately that my response was going to be yes!!!!  What I did not realize was how I was going to go about answering the question.   I asked him what his most precious possession in the world was?  He answered, “my children”.  Which then led the way for me to say that everyday parents give me their most precious possessions and I do not take that responsibility lightly. 

The fact that I am trusted with parents most precious possession motivates me each day.  I know how certain teachers have made a difference in my children’s lives and I hope that I can do the same.

Education is a great field, that while it does not draw people into it because of the money, it allows teachers the unique opportunity to make a difference in a person’s life.  It has been said that a teacher impacts more people in a day than a normal person does in a lifetime. I have seen daily how some of the best teachers in our building truly make a difference.  The impact that they have on their students inspires me to become a better teacher.  That when you peak into their rooms these teachers put aside all the other stuff and just make students better each day.

We all fall into the Woah me, this life is just too tough, but the truth is that it is easy to be gritty when things are good.  Now we are in some tough times in education which is testing the grit of all the good educators in the system.  It is also the time where we cannot afford to lose any of our great teachers.  If we expect our students to be gritty we must model that GRIT for them.

I continue to advocate that our best and brightest students need to join the field of education.  We need to have bright people who bring about education reform that really fixes many of our problems.  Again, while education does not pay well, it is very important to the future of our country.  Ask the best teachers in your school the feeling that they get when they make a difference and you will realize that getting involved in education makes you rich in the soul.

Teaching is about heart and soul

As always your feedback is appreciated

redirect

I was walking down the hall about to say hello to a student when I noticed something was wrong.  When I asked him, what was wrong he said, “I had a horrible college interview.  I think I blew my scholarship chances and my parents are going to be furious.”  My first comment was I understand where you are coming from let’s go talk.

After talking with him for 20 minutes I was able to get him settled down, but I was thinking what are some strategies that he could use if this happened again.

Self-distancing replaces the first-person pronoun I with a non-first pronoun you, he.  So, when talking to himself (Steve, not his real name, some of the questions surprised you, but you will be better prepared next time).

Why self-distancing works is that it allows you to step back in the heat of the moment.  It allows you to think rationally and give the advice that you would give to a friend.  This allows your emotions to cool down.

When emotions cool down you can use Timothy Wilson’s story editing strategy (more).  When you edit your story, it offers a way to reframe or revise a negative experience.  So, instead of Steve beating himself up over the interview, doubting his intelligence and getting trapped in a self-defeating cycle.  Instead Steve can redirect the story as a turning point.  Steve can now say this is when he learned how to handle difficult questions and now knows how to better prepare for the interview process.

Self-affirmation can also be used to offset self-criticism.  Instead of beating himself up Steve can think about things that put him in a good light.  He was one of few even invited for the interview, which was based on both his athletic and academic ability.

No one intervention works for everyone.  Hopefully one of these will work for you if you are spiraling into one of those negative cycles.

As always your feedback is always appreciated.