thank you

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because it gives me time to reflect and be thankful for the many people in my life.  If you remember my first thought of the week this year (that would have been a great extra credit question) it was about belonging.  I like many other people was starting this school year in a new environment and wondered would I fit in.

So, I wanted to take the time to thank all my students for helping me transition to a new school.   Your feedback has allowed me to become a better teacher from your remarks about vulnerability to your suggestions on how to make the class both more engaging, and easier to learn.  I would say that 95% of what I do well as a teacher came from student feedback.

I have enjoyed the conversations both inside and outside the class room.  You have proven to be both insightful and caring.  You are great at asking questions and on a whole have pushed me to explain things with more clarity.

 For the students who are struggling with the course so far, I have the greatest admiration and respect for you.  I do not really care about your test scores now but more importantly how you will perform later in the year.  Sometimes we focus so much on the score we lose track of our improvement.  The fact that some of you come before school, after school, and during your free periods shows me your persistence which will help you be successful throughout your entire life.

When I asked students, what made our school special they said, “the free periods and the teachers” The truth is that you missed what really makes it special, that is the STUDENTS.

Thanks for all you have done to make my start a memorable one.  You have truly made me feel like I belong to the rich tradition of our school.   I truly look forward to the second part of the semester.

With deep appreciation

social media

This week's thought of the week is coming from a guest Angela Duckworth.  Angela is the person who inspired me to do the thought of the week and is a world known psychologist,  This week she talks about the impact of social media.  As always your thoughts and comments are welcome.

Recently, a friend of mine (who shall remain nameless) was surprised to discover the Instagram app on his cellphone. He soon learned that his teenage daughter had lost her phone that day and, even before figuring out how to get a new one, installed the app on his phone as a stop-gap solution.

God forbid an hour go by without “following” and being “followed” by an astonishing number of “friends.” 

Having his personal phone appropriated in this way emboldened my friend to open the app and see what was going on in the social media universe his daughter seemed to prefer, vastly, to reality.

He saw that she’d posted a selfie and, even as he was looking at it, the number of likes were going up and up. The photo was flattering, and the comments were gushing:

      beautyyyy
      gorgeous!!!!
      soo prettyyyy
      stunning
      love ur outfit
      so hot

All those beautiful photos, positive comments, and “likes,” might suggest that social media makes people happier. 

But what does science have to say about social media and happiness? A recent review suggests social media is a double-edged sword: It cuts both ways.

I’ll give you the bad news first. Passive social media use—scrolling through the photos, status updates, and posts of other people without directly interacting with them—leads you to compare your own mundane, imperfect life with the airbrushed, curated, and filtered lives of your friends and friends’ friends. Envy, in turn, leads to unhappiness. 

Not surprisingly, the more time people spend on social media, the less happy they are overall.

But here’s the good news: There’s some evidence that active social media use—posting your own photos and status updates, sending direct messages, sharing links, and even “liking” what you see—can strengthen social connection and reduce feelings of loneliness. 

Unfortunately, social media sites like Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook are used passively for many more hours than they are used actively. The math is obvious when you think about it: You spend a few seconds actively uploading a photo and then dozens if not hundreds of other people collectively devote much more time than that to passively viewing what you’ve posted.

So, even if the sword of social media cuts both ways, it’s usually cutting against happiness.

I’ve heard of parents who prohibit their children from engaging in any kind of social media. But my teenage girls are Instagram and Snapchat veterans. In other words, in my house the social media ship has sailed, and the best I can do now is get it sailing in the right direction.

Don’t assume that social media has no effect on well-being. 

Do share the science on social media with young people who may not fully fathom its effects. It may not earn you “likes” but sometimes the truth isn’t flattering.

If you want to read more from Angela, here is https://www.characterlab.org/thought-of-the-week

Keep it simple

I remember one of my strongest students asked me to give her an example of a concept which we had just went over.  I thought for a while and then gave her an example in which I thought perfectly demonstrated the concept which we just learned.  

After I was finished speaking my student looked at me and said, “I hope you do not think that helped me” I was surprised, I thought the example was perfect, yet she thought it was of no help.  How can two people be so far apart?  Does this happen in day to day conversation?

This was in the back of my mind when I read about this research.  The psychologist set up a game in which there were two groups of people.  One group was the tappers and the other group was the listeners.  The tappers were given twenty-five well known songs (happy birthday).  Each tapper was asked to pick out a song and tap out the rhythm to the listener.

The listener’s job was to guess the song based on the tapping (you can do this with friends).  During the experiment 120 songs were tapped out and the listeners guessed 3% (3/120) correctly.  Before the listeners guessed the name of the song the tappers were asked to predict the odds that the listener would get it correct.  They predicted 50% would get it correct.

So, what happens is that when the tapper taps they hear the tune in their head so that they think the listener can hear the tune.  The tappers are amazed that listeners cannot get the tune correct.  Just as I was amazed at how my student could not follow my example.  It made perfect sense to me so I thought it would make sense to her.

How can we overcome this problem?  Keep your message simple.  When I was working for Domino’s Pizza our message was 2,000 or more in 84.  Our goal was to have 2,000 stores by the end of 1984 (more than double the size of the company at the start of the year).  This message was simple in that it allowed everyone from the CEO to the drivers at the stores to understand the goal of the company.  It also made decision making easy because no idea was approved unless it helped us build more stores.  Achieving the goal was complex but the message was simple.

Now thinking back to my example, was probably too complex.  Now I try to just answer questions in the simplest way possible.

generational

When I was young I loved my grandmothers cooking.  When she passed away however the recipes somehow were lost, and her cooking did not pass on from generation to generation.  The only way that you pass things on to the next generation is with a mindful effort.  So, what else might my grandmother want to pass on from her generation to my children’s generation?

My grandmother was not only a great cook but a person who constantly showed her gratitude.  It is the month of November which I always give my students an assignment of writing someone who had helped them in their lives a gratitude letter.  My hope is to pass this moment of gratitude along to them so that they can pass it along to others.  That after doing this assignment that they will realize how good it made both them and the person they sent it to feel.  We often procrastinate over each word worried that the person who receives the letter is grading it like an English assignment.  The truth is that people just love to receive these letters.  Take a minute now and just send a quick text, e-mail or make a call to someone you would like to thank.  It is never too late to show gratitude (.great video)

It seemed when I was young we spent more time together with our friends.  I was raised in a community where houses were connected to each other and apartments houses were everywhere.  This type of living quarters allowed us to have many friends who spent hours upon hours playing games and swapping stories.  Now with modern technology we need to be more mindful of the importance of relationships.  One of my former students was telling me that she made her friends shut off their phone and place them in the middle of the table when they went out to eat.  Otherwise we were not really eating together we were just sitting together as we text others.  If positive relationships are the roots of resilience we must be mindful of teaching, encouraging, modeling and reminding each other of their importance.

While it makes me sad that the next generation cannot taste the delicious meals that my grandmother used to cook.  I am sure going to be mindful that they understand the importance of both relationships and gratitude which was so important to her.

What do you want to pass along?  How about starting now!